Mommy Guilt: Does it Only Happen to Stay at Home Moms?

in Babies,Blog,Kids,Parenting

I’m a stay at home mom so I’m pretty much “on call” 24/7.  As mothers (and fathers) from day one we have an inborn nature to meet our baby’s cries and be at his beck and call at all hours of the day and night.  Once our kids become more independent and can play on their own it becomes a daily struggle to keep up after them, making sure they are staying safe and cleaning up after themselves.  Quite frankly, it’s exhausting!  Mommy time, and especially couple time with your partner is so important!  So, why is it that as mothers we feel so guilty leaving our kids for some mommy time (at least I do anyway)?  I can only speak for mothers since I’m not a father and have no idea what fathers feel like when leaving their kids, but every time I step foot out of the door, I have at least a slight feeling of I’m leaving them again.  Shouldn’t I be desiring to stay home and play with them?  Or even when it’s almost bedtime, I’m so looking forward to the time when lights are out, they are tucked in and I can simply veg out!  All I ever wanted when I was young was to be a mom so now why do I look forward to every instance that I can actually get away from my kids?!  Yes, I love my kids and I blame my desire of getting away from them on being a stay at home mom and having to be with them 24/7.  However, I would love to hear opinions on those that actually work outside the home and their thoughts on whether or not they yearn for the times they can actually get away from their kids and have mommy time!  Surely this doesn’t affect only stay at home moms…?

Then the question is, if we feel that guilt when we leave, why and how do we get rid of that feeling?  I know in my own household I don’t feel like the time I actually do spend with my kids is real quality time, doing something they love to do.  Most of the time I feel like I’m harping on them to clean up this and that, get your homework done, and now time for bed.  We do always have book time before bed for 10-20 minutes, but is that really enough?  I think I really need to focus more on being a fun mom, forget how the house looks, and just have fun with my kids!  I don’t want to be the mom that looks back on life and regrets not  spending enough time with them and now they’re all grown up.  We all know how fast they grow up!!  I feel like I’m a little OCD when it comes to my household and what it looks like, so that is why I’m probably always harping on getting things cleaned up, etc.  I’m really trying to relax in finding ways to just let things slide a little and not worry so much about the house in order to have more time with my kids.  Any great ideas on how to do this??

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